Here's a list of things I slowly absorbed over the past year, though they were all told to me in one 20-minute conference with novelist Joyce Magnin last March.
1) Don't try to be too mysterious in your novel's opening. I've read in other places too that your reader should know what the character is privy to. (Well, I see some exceptions to that, but in general I'm beginning to get the overall principle.) I was sooo guilty of this. I didn't want to name Maizy's husband/the baby's father mentioned in the prologue's first paragraph. What the reader got was a lot of confusing "he" pronouns--some referring to the father, some a newborn baby. I had this hangup about not naming the man in the prologue because the first chapter went back in time to when Maizy was with a different man, and if I named the man in the prologue, the reader would instantly know that relationship in chapter one was doomed. I thought by not naming the man in the prologue, the reader would be able to meet the rest of the story with the ability to wonder which man she'll pick. It sounded good to me, for years, but now I get that frustrating ambiguity doesn't serve much but to add confusion. Besides, my prologue carries enough ambiguity--the point is to make you wonder what happens to the baby and what she did that she feels so much guilt--those are the hooks my novel needs.
2) Don't dump a lot of back story in the your novel's beginning. Save as much back story as you can for later, sprinkled in bits and pieces as you weave the rest of the forward-moving story. My prologue had once been 30 pages--all from a short story that I wanted to keep in tact. A lot of it was back story. I cut it down to 9 for this conference and felt quite accomplished. But in the conference, I remember feeling like I was back in school, at the desk of an English teacher with a red pen, as Joyce sliced through paragraph after paragraph with a pen: "We don't need to know this yet." Slash. "Not needed." Red slash. "Not needed." Ouch. But a year has gone by, and I see she was right. There was actually very little that the reader needed in that introduction. The reader didn't need to know how Maizy got where she was--yet.
3) The reader doesn't need to know how your character got where she got--yet--but he/she does need to know where she is now! My opening was scant on setting the scene and developing atmosphere. Joyce said I needed to spend more time on world building. Up to that point, I'd been so focused on following earlier advice to shorten my prologue that I'd been cutting, painfully cutting, to shorten the word count. But I'd been cutting the wrong things and preserving things that were better sprinkled throughout the rest of the novel.
4) De-clutter dialogue. Especially in the opening, my dialogue was cluttered with all the details I was trying to squeeze in--characters' appearances, mannerisms, emotions, etc. It was so full of information, the conversation moved very slowly, the reader constantly asked to process new information and yet not lose the momentum of the conversations. Joyce also took her pen and slashed through my synonyms for "said." I've read it in books before: "forget what your high school creative teacher taught you." Writing declared, retorted, implored, reported, spat, enunciated, replied, etc., should be rare. "The reader doesn't really notice 'said,' but the other words slow her down," Joyce said. Dialogue should move, not bog down, generally.
5) Simplify sentence structure. I'm super good at writing very complex sentences, with proper punctuation and everything. But what's good for poetry and academic writing is not necessarily good for contemporary fiction. Sentence variety, yes. But I was really burdening my prose with over-long sentences. Maybe Twain is noted for it, and countless writers before have had paragraph-long sentences, but it's hard to pull that off in today's publishing world.
Joyce ended my conference saying, "I do think you do have a story here," like she was generously searching for a diamond in the rough. "But you have to learn the basics of fiction writing."
(As an aside, I should tell you I think that was the worst reception of my writing I've ever experienced. I was that kind of student in high school and college who always excelled, whom professors asked to stand and read her writing for the whole class, even when I was a sophomore among senior English majors. To find that my skills didn't seamlessly translate to the world of contemporary fiction was a bit...deflating. But necessary.)
To follow what kind of feedback I got on my revisions a year later, in conferences last week, follow to the blog post "A Year Comparison: Shopping My Novel's Opening at Writers' Conferences."
Articles I've written:
What is a Disposable Diaper Made of Anyway?
Are Schools Expecting Our Kids to Read Too Early?
Hormone-free Milk: Dairy Companies Pledging Not to Use Artificial Bovine Growth Hormone
Chemical Imbalance Theory of Depression Incorrect; Antidepressants Ineffective
Saturday, March 31, 2012
A year comparison: shopping my novel's opening at writers' conferences
In my last blog, I talked about a tough conference I had a year ago with a published novelist who took a literal red pen to my work. That blog entry listed 5 Rookie Mistakes for a Novel's Opening, because I made them all, but obviously, was mostly ignorant of them.
That was the worst reception of my writing I've ever experienced. I was that kind of student in high school and college who always excelled, whom professors asked to stand and read her writing for the whole class, even when I was a sophomore among senior English majors. I write and sell articles to periodicals now. I am used to seeing myself as a good writer.To find that my skills didn't seamlessly translate to the world of contemporary fiction was a bit...deflating. But necessary.
It took me a year to absorb all that good advice for my opening prologue. Granted, I could be generous with myself and say that I was busy learning other things about the craft--it's not like I was being obtuse for a year, stuck on those things, never moving forward. I just set the opening aside, let all I'd been told settle, and worked on other things. Then I dusted the opening off and reconsidered it for 2 conferences, one at the end of January which I've written about (learning to write meaningful specifics for characters, and managing time to write), and the most recent one a week ago today. Suddenly, I saw the purpose of my prologue differently in light of Joyce's advice. I shaved my 9-page prologue down to a page and a half. Then I had room to go back in with details to flesh out the setting and atmosphere.
The results? I had three 20-minute conferences with published novelists last week, and constructive criticism on my opening was not at all part of the conversation. One novelist complimented me on the details that painted the characters' house and lifestyle and social class. And another novelist told me my writing was excellent, some of the best she'd seen that day. Amazing how much I can grow and have my perspective changed in a year.
Now that I know what I know, I can't believe I didn't know it before. Or rather, that I didn't recognize it before. Or I think I did know it once, then forgot. But whatever the case, I see I'm making important progress. (Now I just have to apply all I've learned to revising hundreds of pages, some of which I wrote 4+ years ago and that may likely shock me!)
Articles I've written:
Choose Your Best Birth Options
Organic Food: Eight Benefits for You and Your Children
Omega-3 Fatty Acids Protect Against Obesity?
When Miscarriage Means Labor
That was the worst reception of my writing I've ever experienced. I was that kind of student in high school and college who always excelled, whom professors asked to stand and read her writing for the whole class, even when I was a sophomore among senior English majors. I write and sell articles to periodicals now. I am used to seeing myself as a good writer.To find that my skills didn't seamlessly translate to the world of contemporary fiction was a bit...deflating. But necessary.
It took me a year to absorb all that good advice for my opening prologue. Granted, I could be generous with myself and say that I was busy learning other things about the craft--it's not like I was being obtuse for a year, stuck on those things, never moving forward. I just set the opening aside, let all I'd been told settle, and worked on other things. Then I dusted the opening off and reconsidered it for 2 conferences, one at the end of January which I've written about (learning to write meaningful specifics for characters, and managing time to write), and the most recent one a week ago today. Suddenly, I saw the purpose of my prologue differently in light of Joyce's advice. I shaved my 9-page prologue down to a page and a half. Then I had room to go back in with details to flesh out the setting and atmosphere.
The results? I had three 20-minute conferences with published novelists last week, and constructive criticism on my opening was not at all part of the conversation. One novelist complimented me on the details that painted the characters' house and lifestyle and social class. And another novelist told me my writing was excellent, some of the best she'd seen that day. Amazing how much I can grow and have my perspective changed in a year.
Now that I know what I know, I can't believe I didn't know it before. Or rather, that I didn't recognize it before. Or I think I did know it once, then forgot. But whatever the case, I see I'm making important progress. (Now I just have to apply all I've learned to revising hundreds of pages, some of which I wrote 4+ years ago and that may likely shock me!)
Articles I've written:
Choose Your Best Birth Options
Organic Food: Eight Benefits for You and Your Children
Omega-3 Fatty Acids Protect Against Obesity?
When Miscarriage Means Labor
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
The risk, the challenge, to obey your characters in writing that novel...
I've been meaning to write this since I went to a mid-winter retreat. There I met an editor and novelist who read my novel opening and heard the two possible ways I had been considering telling the story of my novel: tell the stories of both the younger and older couples in two separate tracks, or tell everything in the present time period with a lot of flashbacks for the story of the older couple. I even asked for reader feedback on this. As mentioned in that post, what most readers said they preferred was the 2-track idea. I tried for a few weeks, but just couldn't make it work.
Well, what do you think the editor and novelist had to recommend? Exactly what you readers told me: I'd been hung up on 2 things: 1) that it seemed like a phenomenal amount of work to rework the 85% of the novel already written and 2) I wasn't sure the pacing of the stories would mesh well together. (Oh, I guess 3 things: I was just more comfortable in the point of view of Maizy and Curt when they are older, looking back.) I left the mid-winter retreat encouraged because novelist Susan Gregg Gilmore really gave me a lot of encouragement, expressly because she talked about just having written a novel in the manner in which I write. She even had to start over, renegotiate a deadline with her publisher to do that phenomenal amount of work. But she did it. It is possible.
Last Saturday, I went to the Lancaster Christan Writer's one-day conference. I met with novelists there too who read my opening and my plan for the structure. Again and again, it was affirmed that the two-track idea for the 2 couples is the way to go. With Jeannette Windle, political suspense novelist, I admitted that in working on fleshing out the story of the older couple, I just felt daunted sometimes because I realized how much I didn't know about their story. Writing periodic flashbacks let me touch down on their story only every few years, even skipping a decade or more. But writing their relationship from a to z, in chronological order to have it parallel the other couples'--wow, is it hard! It's changing the story--eek! My characters are informing me that things I thought they did in their 30s or 40s or 50s are no longer logical or likely--because their 20-something or 30-something actions and situations in life change them in ways that change who they will in the future I imagined for them.
But multiple times, I was encouraged in this hard task, a task that may derail me from my goal to have a complete draft by the end of July. I was also told that my writing is very good and that my opening was gripping. My story gave them mystery. So for all that, I shall take heart and keep plugging away.
An it's not entirely unpleasant. I'm enjoying discovering exactly how Maizy and Curt were in their marriage through the years. It just really frustrated the goal-oriented side of me that still wants the goal to be "be done soon." I have to reprogram my goal to be "do what's best for the story. Just write it, and go ahead and overwrite it even, so you can find the best story."
Other things I write:
Postpartum Depression, Psychological Distress Predicted by Previous Traumatic Birth
Well, what do you think the editor and novelist had to recommend? Exactly what you readers told me: I'd been hung up on 2 things: 1) that it seemed like a phenomenal amount of work to rework the 85% of the novel already written and 2) I wasn't sure the pacing of the stories would mesh well together. (Oh, I guess 3 things: I was just more comfortable in the point of view of Maizy and Curt when they are older, looking back.) I left the mid-winter retreat encouraged because novelist Susan Gregg Gilmore really gave me a lot of encouragement, expressly because she talked about just having written a novel in the manner in which I write. She even had to start over, renegotiate a deadline with her publisher to do that phenomenal amount of work. But she did it. It is possible.
Last Saturday, I went to the Lancaster Christan Writer's one-day conference. I met with novelists there too who read my opening and my plan for the structure. Again and again, it was affirmed that the two-track idea for the 2 couples is the way to go. With Jeannette Windle, political suspense novelist, I admitted that in working on fleshing out the story of the older couple, I just felt daunted sometimes because I realized how much I didn't know about their story. Writing periodic flashbacks let me touch down on their story only every few years, even skipping a decade or more. But writing their relationship from a to z, in chronological order to have it parallel the other couples'--wow, is it hard! It's changing the story--eek! My characters are informing me that things I thought they did in their 30s or 40s or 50s are no longer logical or likely--because their 20-something or 30-something actions and situations in life change them in ways that change who they will in the future I imagined for them.
But multiple times, I was encouraged in this hard task, a task that may derail me from my goal to have a complete draft by the end of July. I was also told that my writing is very good and that my opening was gripping. My story gave them mystery. So for all that, I shall take heart and keep plugging away.
An it's not entirely unpleasant. I'm enjoying discovering exactly how Maizy and Curt were in their marriage through the years. It just really frustrated the goal-oriented side of me that still wants the goal to be "be done soon." I have to reprogram my goal to be "do what's best for the story. Just write it, and go ahead and overwrite it even, so you can find the best story."
Other things I write:
Postpartum Depression, Psychological Distress Predicted by Previous Traumatic Birth
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
No More Freelancing
Ok, I did it. In my last post, I talked about being hesitant to even say aloud what I KNEW I needed to do to give myself a fighting chance at finishing my novel. I wrote the first half of the equation in my last post about time management, admitting I was scared to say, for fear of accountability, what else I knew I needed to do. But, I've been doing it for two weeks, and I'm not dead.
OK, I'm being dramatic, but it did feel like such a hard thing to do: stop freelancing for magazines. I remember, two days after I made the commitment, I spent an hour searching out new magazines and having ideas! And that's exactly what has to stop if I'm going to finish the novel! The nap time novelist and nap time freelancer can't both succeed well right now. I told myself, "It's only temporary." I hope to be done with the novel draft by summer's end, and then, I tell myself, I can do some freelancing again. (Caveat: I'm already committed to one freelance assignment, so I do have to do that, but then I'm done....)
So far I haven't felt too bad about not freelancing. But then, with the slow way the business rolls, I'm still getting paychecks and seeing periodicals come out with my articles. In a few months, that will stop, and I'll reap no benefits, and I will miss them. I still get ideas all the time for articles. But I am disciplining myself to write them down and ignore them for 6 months. Or whatever's necessary.
The benefits of this change is the freedom to really keep the novel's plot and characters in my head space, instead of crowding them out for other assignments. I've found I accomplish much more with them because of this change, confirming this is what I needed to do. I'd been riding the fence between these two applications of writing ever since I started writing again in February 2010. I've been praying, weighing the pros and cons, and stubbornly trying to do both this whole time. I never would have thought back then it'd take me so long to just pick one to focus on.
Here's to finishing my novel! I'm feeling good about my goal. I've been writing nothing but the novel for 2 weeks now. It's good. It's really good.
A sample of my online freelance articles:
Natural Deodorants: Do Any Work as Effectively as Popular Commercial Brands?
Organic Food: Eight Benefits for You and Your Children
High Fructose Corn Syrup: Thirteen Reasons to Avoid It
Job Search: How to Make Your Application Climb to The Top of The Pile
OK, I'm being dramatic, but it did feel like such a hard thing to do: stop freelancing for magazines. I remember, two days after I made the commitment, I spent an hour searching out new magazines and having ideas! And that's exactly what has to stop if I'm going to finish the novel! The nap time novelist and nap time freelancer can't both succeed well right now. I told myself, "It's only temporary." I hope to be done with the novel draft by summer's end, and then, I tell myself, I can do some freelancing again. (Caveat: I'm already committed to one freelance assignment, so I do have to do that, but then I'm done....)
So far I haven't felt too bad about not freelancing. But then, with the slow way the business rolls, I'm still getting paychecks and seeing periodicals come out with my articles. In a few months, that will stop, and I'll reap no benefits, and I will miss them. I still get ideas all the time for articles. But I am disciplining myself to write them down and ignore them for 6 months. Or whatever's necessary.
The benefits of this change is the freedom to really keep the novel's plot and characters in my head space, instead of crowding them out for other assignments. I've found I accomplish much more with them because of this change, confirming this is what I needed to do. I'd been riding the fence between these two applications of writing ever since I started writing again in February 2010. I've been praying, weighing the pros and cons, and stubbornly trying to do both this whole time. I never would have thought back then it'd take me so long to just pick one to focus on.
Here's to finishing my novel! I'm feeling good about my goal. I've been writing nothing but the novel for 2 weeks now. It's good. It's really good.
A sample of my online freelance articles:
Natural Deodorants: Do Any Work as Effectively as Popular Commercial Brands?
Organic Food: Eight Benefits for You and Your Children
High Fructose Corn Syrup: Thirteen Reasons to Avoid It
Job Search: How to Make Your Application Climb to The Top of The Pile
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